Much better

I'm a lot better right now. Whether it's the new drugs, a boost I got from my mum being here or just a random upswing, I don't know, but this is as good as I've been for some time. I feel like a changed man with all this extra (albeit normal) energy. I'm halfway through the feature-length Easter weekend and I've managed to get some study done, though I fear it might be too little, too late. Easter in the past has been a major depression black spot for me, second only to Christmas, but so far I've done fine even though I've hardly spoken to anyone.

Work is just as awful as ever. I'm trying not to let it affect my mood - that's easier said than done. On Wednesday morning I was asked a tough question about a particular acronym that I knew nothing about, but it was a measure of my improvement that I was able to bluff my way out of that tricky situation. I felt uncomfortable at work all day Thursday - everyone else seemed "full-on" with their work while I was the complete opposite, which I guess would be "empty-off". And I had to listen to one member of my team reciting the bands he'd seen at the Vector Arena - I can see the Vector Arena from my flat but I've never been there.

I've started playing poker online at PokerStars.net though only for play money. I'm currently sitting on about three times what I started with, though I'm totally aware that play-money poker bears little resemblance to the real thing. You get used to the mechanics of the game and the online software but that's about it. For a start, I'm normally the only player at my table who doesn't play almost any hand, and you'll always get one or two players who'll raise the bajeezus out of just about anything. That said, I've got a good mathematical brain and I reckon I could succeed at the real-money game if it wasn't for the rake which looks prohibitive to me. I might struggle when it comes to reading my opponents, just like I have a hard time second-guessing people in real life, but then again maybe I'd be better at figuring out whether someone has ace-queen suited, say, than working out something far more abstract such as whether they like me.