Lowball draw musings II

I've finally kissed goodbye to 25c-50c badugi after beating the game, over 30,000 hands, for six big bets per hundred. My guess is that I had slightly above average luck in that time: I won 58% of showdowns - a high number even when you consider that I drew much smoother than many of my opponents.

Yesterday I cashed out $1640 leaving a little over $600 in my account, just enough to have a crack at no-limit single draw. After 500 hands of that I'm marginally in the black. I realise I have some leaks that need repairing. Here are some hands that spring to mind:

Hand 1. I'm dealt a very breakable J97 on the button. There's a raise in early position, then a call, so I three-bet hoping to get a better hand to break. They both call and draw one; I stand pat. One of my opponents bets small after the draw, and I simply fold. If I get that hand again I'll just call the raise and draw to the nine.

Hand 2. I raise under the gun with a draw to the nut nine and get three callers. All four of us draw one. I make a 9-7 and bet $4 into a $6 pot. My lone caller turns over an 8-6. How did he not raise me there? This game seems a bit like five-card draw in that certain people only raise with absolute monsters and sometimes not even then. In future, with three people behind me, I'll probably just check-call there.

Hand 3. I call a raise in position with a nine draw. We're heads up, he pats and I draw one, pairing my nine. He checks post-draw and I bet $4 into a $3 pot. He calls me with a T98. I don't think the bluff was too bad, but the overbet possibly screams "please fold!" I should have bet $2 or $2.50, as I would if I'd hit my draw.

One thing I'm still not sure of is how much action to put in with pat tens and better. This afternoon I four-bet my 10-7 to $11 pre-draw. My sole opponent had a 10-8. I was a little surprised to win that. A few hands later I four-bet to $9 in position with the nut ten, a great two-way hand, and that held up too.

This game will take some figuring out, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.

Update: four hands from what I thought was an interesting session.

Hand 1
Should I break here? I tried to get to showdown as cheaply as possible. I thought there was a reasonable chance my smooth ten would hold up, and a slimmer chance of drawing better, though this doesn't take into account potential extra money I could make from Brick_Mag if I hit a monster.
PokerStars Game #50183666376: Single Draw 2-7 Lowball No Limit ($0.25/$0.50 USD) - 2010/09/26 2:46:16 ET
Table 'Olshaniya IV' 7-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: 2J4U ($33.90 in chips)
Seat 2: dominikavery ($8.40 in chips)
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG ($32.15 in chips)
Seat 4: plutoman20 ($37.30 in chips)
Seat 5: Greg941 ($26.05 in chips)
Seat 6: B4MyEyes ($66.10 in chips)
Seat 7: REDFALL ($26 in chips)
plutoman20: posts small blind $0.25
Greg941: posts big blind $0.50
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to plutoman20 [3s 6c Tc 5c 2d]
B4MyEyes: folds
REDFALL: folds
2J4U: folds
dominikavery: raises $1 to $1.50
BRICK_ MAG: raises $3.50 to $5
plutoman20: calls $4.75
Greg941: folds
dominikavery: raises $3.40 to $8.40 and is all-in
BRICK_ MAG: calls $3.40
plutoman20: calls $3.40
plutoman20: stands pat on [3s 6c Tc 5c 2d]
dominikavery: discards 1 card
BRICK_ MAG: stands pat
plutoman20: checks
BRICK_ MAG: checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
plutoman20: shows [3s 6c Tc 5c 2d] (Lo: T,6,5,3,2)
dominikavery: shows [2c Jh 4d 6d 7d] (Lo: J,7,6,4,2)
BRICK_ MAG: shows [7s 8c 5s 2h 9s] (Lo: 9,8,7,5,2)
BRICK_ MAG collected $24.45 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $25.70 Rake $1.25
Seat 1: 2J4U folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: dominikavery showed [2c Jh 4d 6d 7d] and lost with Lo: J,7,6,4,2
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG (button) showed [7s 8c 5s 2h 9s] and won ($24.45) with Lo: 9,8,7,5,2
Seat 4: plutoman20 (small blind) showed [3s 6c Tc 5c 2d] and lost with Lo: T,6,5,3,2
Seat 5: Greg941 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: B4MyEyes folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: REDFALL folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Hand 2
I'm not even involved in this one, but what's going on after the draw? 2J4U seems like a good regular player. Perhaps these two have some history, and Bob knows there's a good chance the huge overbet is a bluff, hence the call. I don't really get Bob's small blocking bet either.

PokerStars Game #50184615005: Single Draw 2-7 Lowball No Limit ($0.25/$0.50 USD) - 2010/09/26 3:36:36 ET
Table 'Olshaniya IV' 7-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: 2J4U ($20.20 in chips)
Seat 2: dominikavery ($50.25 in chips)
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG ($52.40 in chips)
Seat 4: plutoman20 ($27 in chips)
Seat 5: BOB LOBLAW44 ($27.15 in chips)
Seat 6: B4MyEyes ($55.90 in chips)
Seat 7: Flyers19001 ($10.35 in chips)
plutoman20: posts small blind $0.25
BOB LOBLAW44: posts big blind $0.50
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to plutoman20 [Qh Js 2s Tc Kc]
B4MyEyes: folds
Flyers19001: folds
2J4U: raises $1.50 to $2
dominikavery: folds
BRICK_ MAG: folds
plutoman20: folds
BOB LOBLAW44: calls $1.50
BOB LOBLAW44: stands pat
2J4U: discards 1 card
BOB LOBLAW44: bets $1
2J4U: raises $11 to $12
BOB LOBLAW44: calls $11
*** SHOW DOWN ***
2J4U: shows [6h 9d 3d 4d 9h] (Lo: a pair of Nines)
BOB LOBLAW44: shows [8c 7c Ts 4s 3s] (Lo: T,8,7,4,3)
BOB LOBLAW44 collected $26.85 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $28.25 Rake $1.40
Seat 1: 2J4U showed [6h 9d 3d 4d 9h] and lost with Lo: a pair of Nines
Seat 2: dominikavery folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: plutoman20 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 5: BOB LOBLAW44 (big blind) showed [8c 7c Ts 4s 3s] and won ($26.85) with Lo: T,8,7,4,3
Seat 6: B4MyEyes folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: Flyers19001 folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Hand 3
I had a good two-way hand in position here. If he'd patted (as I expected) I'd have broken. By just calling his four-bet and patting, I'm setting myself up for a possible bluff; if he bets say $10 after the draw, then what?

PokerStars Game #50184745026: Single Draw 2-7 Lowball No Limit ($0.25/$0.50 USD) - 2010/09/26 3:43:15 ET
Table 'Olshaniya IV' 7-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: 2J4U ($51.20 in chips)
Seat 2: dominikavery ($48.25 in chips)
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG ($52.90 in chips)
Seat 4: plutoman20 ($25.45 in chips)
Seat 5: BOB LOBLAW44 ($35.75 in chips)
Seat 6: B4MyEyes ($57.65 in chips)
Seat 7: Flyers19001 ($8.90 in chips)
BOB LOBLAW44: posts small blind $0.25
B4MyEyes: posts big blind $0.50
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to plutoman20 [Th 4s 2s 8h 5h]
Flyers19001: folds
2J4U: folds
dominikavery: raises $1 to $1.50
BRICK_ MAG: folds
plutoman20: raises $2.50 to $4
BOB LOBLAW44: folds
B4MyEyes: folds
dominikavery: raises $4.50 to $8.50
plutoman20: calls $4.50
dominikavery: discards 1 card
plutoman20: stands pat on [Th 4s 2s 8h 5h]
dominikavery: checks
plutoman20: checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
dominikavery: shows [6d 3s 7c 5d 7d] (Lo: a pair of Sevens)
plutoman20: shows [Th 4s 2s 8h 5h] (Lo: T,8,5,4,2)
plutoman20 collected $16.90 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $17.75 Rake $0.85
Seat 1: 2J4U folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: dominikavery showed [6d 3s 7c 5d 7d] and lost with Lo: a pair of Sevens
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: plutoman20 (button) showed [Th 4s 2s 8h 5h] and won ($16.90) with Lo: T,8,5,4,2
Seat 5: BOB LOBLAW44 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: B4MyEyes (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 7: Flyers19001 folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Hand 4
Seven hundred hands and I'd never been all in, or even close to it. I'd been lamenting the total lack of action my pat monsters had generated, while anything marginal had always got plenty of callers. Then this hand happened. When Bob called my all-in, I didn't expect to see a 9-8.

PokerStars Game #50185528152: Single Draw 2-7 Lowball No Limit ($0.25/$0.50 USD) - 2010/09/26 4:23:02 ET
Table 'Olshaniya IV' 7-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: sjcroy99 ($19.50 in chips)
Seat 2: dominikavery ($31.15 in chips)
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG ($49.15 in chips)
Seat 4: plutoman20 ($22.50 in chips)
Seat 5: BOB LOBLAW44 ($49.40 in chips)
Seat 7: ThaSlosh23 ($16.65 in chips)
plutoman20: posts small blind $0.25
BOB LOBLAW44: posts big blind $0.50
Greg941: sits out
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to plutoman20 [2d 5c 4s 8d 6h]
ThaSlosh23: folds
sjcroy99: folds
dominikavery: folds
BRICK_ MAG: folds
plutoman20: raises $1 to $1.50
BOB LOBLAW44: raises $1.50 to $3
plutoman20: raises $4 to $7
BOB LOBLAW44: calls $4
plutoman20: stands pat on [2d 5c 4s 8d 6h]
BOB LOBLAW44: stands pat
plutoman20: bets $15.50 and is all-in
BOB LOBLAW44: calls $15.50
*** SHOW DOWN ***
plutoman20: shows [2d 5c 4s 8d 6h] (Lo: 8,6,5,4,2)
BOB LOBLAW44: shows [2s 9c 5s 4h 8c] (Lo: 9,8,5,4,2)
plutoman20 collected $42.80 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $45 Rake $2.20
Seat 1: sjcroy99 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: dominikavery folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: BRICK_ MAG (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: plutoman20 (small blind) showed [2d 5c 4s 8d 6h] and won ($42.80) with Lo: 8,6,5,4,2
Seat 5: BOB LOBLAW44 (big blind) showed [2s 9c 5s 4h 8c] and lost with Lo: 9,8,5,4,2
Seat 7: ThaSlosh23 folded before Flop (didn't bet)

One fine day

Wednesday's early morning turbo badugi tournament lived up to its name: I never got above my starting stack (of just 1000) and was out in double-quick time. As it happened, I couldn't have made it to the tournament proper anyway. The WINZ meeting or "seminar" was useful - everyone was told to be a lot more persistent, and not to take no for an answer. Only seven or eight people attended, but the whole gamut of jobless life was on show, from a highly switched-on computer programmer to someone straight out of The League of Gentlemen.

I got back to my car after the meeting to find a thin piece of paper stuck to the windscreen. I instantly knew what it was, but couldn't think why it was there. Then I looked at my registration sticker. August 21st. Everybody's birthday seems to fall on that date so how I could I forget? This year I've been very careful to save the odd dollar here and there, and then bam! - I forget something important and it sets me back hundreds. In this case $200. I went to Takapuna Post Office who gave me the bizarre news that I wasn't the legal owner of the car, and that it was registered until November 21st. I'd signed all the change of ownership papers when I bought the car, but for some reason the change has since been reversed. The post office lady spent twenty minutes on the phone to Land Transport, after which I was reinstated as the legal owner and given a new updated registration sticker without having to pay anything. In short, I might get lucky here and get off the fine. That would be quite a result. I've sent the council a letter and will see what happens.

After all that messing around, I attended the WRAP course (for what I imagine will be the last time unfortunately), helped (I hope) the Browns Bay boy with his maths, and went to the men's group where we chatted and watched the first half of Flawless which was very good I thought.

Quite a bit (by my standards) has happened since Wednesday; I'll save that for my next post.

Lowball draw musings

I've played a couple of thousand hands of triple draw now, at 25c/50c and 50c/$1, and I'm roughly break-even. Given my badugi record, and the similarities between the two games, I thought I'd do better than that, but it hasn't panned out that way. Just like in badugi, I see what appears to be poor play, but unlike in badugi I seem unable to capitalise. Maybe my sample size is too small to draw any reasonable conclusions, but I'm sure I have a few leaks that need patching up. Certainly I can't hand-read as well in triple draw as I can in badugi.

I've read some discussion on forums about the comparative variance of triple draw and badugi. The swings seem more brutal in triple draw, although I've done no statistical analysis of my hands to back this up. A couple of reasons why triple draw might be more "swingy":

1. Triple draw hands run closer in equity, particularly on the last draw; for instance 8763 is a 44% shot against 7432 with one draw remaining. Compare that to 652 in badugi, which is about a 4-to-1 underdog to 32A on the last draw.
2. When you're up against a pat hand in badugi and you've missed the first two draws, it's likely you won't have the odds to continue, so you can (and should) pull the plug at that stage unless the stand-pat person has a propensity to snow. In triple draw you generally have more outs to complete your hand and can therefore see all three draws. So in triple draw a bad run of missed monster draws will cost you considerably more than in badugi.

In addition to those factors, you play more hands per hour at triple draw than badugi (because the tables are smaller) so your ups and downs seem more pronounced.

My current overall profit has just nudged over US$6000, including (of course) that tournament success back in May. If and when it reaches $6100, I'll cash out all but $600, which I'll use to play single draw as well as badugi (and maybe low-stakes triple draw too).

I managed to convert some of my frequent player points into tournament money, and I'll use $22 of that to buy into tomorrow morning's turbo WCOOP badugi satellite, starting at 7:30. The turbo aspect doesn't appeal - if you don't hit a few hands early you'll be out - but I'll give it a go anyway. After that I've got a busy day: a WINZ appointment at 10:30, the WRAP (mental health) course between 1 and 3pm, teaching fractions in Browns Bay a little later, then the men's group in the evening.

No poker for four weeks

I had my Italian class this evening. At the beginning we all have to talk about what we did in the past week, in Italian of course. I always find this awkward. Tonight I tried to make a joke of it: "Nothing much. Next!" But I can't do that every week. I'll have to start making things up. The rest of the session was easy in comparison.

I'm happy to report that after tonight's short badugi session (which I played when I got back from Italian) my bankroll stands at $2000.40. I've promised not to play again until 1st September.

A good face for radio

Wednesday was a crappy day. It was the most depressed I'd been in ages; at one stage I let out a loud yell in my (thankfully empty) street. It was more of a roar than a yell actually. That afternoon I'd met up with some agency-type person at a café on Ponsonby Road. In a rather uncomfortable semi-interview, he told me two things I already knew. Firstly I'm unlikely to succeed in a large corporation because I don't have the right personality type. Secondly my lack of outward self-confidence puts a severe dent in my chances of getting through an interview unless it's over the phone: apparently I have good mannerisms and facial expressions for phone interviews, just like some people are said to have a good face for radio. This bloke had a fair few contacts in the corporate world and suggested I join the business networking site Linked In. He said he'd become a world kickboxing champion after being badly bullied at school (a quick Google search confirmed that he indeed was an ace kickboxer). I presume he told me this by way of encouragement but, the way I was feeling, it had the exact opposite effect. The men's group that evening, where we watched the end of the Australian film Crush, came at a very good time.

On Friday I had an appointment at a recruitment agency in the city. There was a queue of about a hundred people outside the Queen Street Vodafone store, presumably itching to get their hands on the latest iWhatsit. I was at the agency all afternoon and got tested up to the eyeballs. Which shape comes next? Which of the following words means the same as 'random'? Which of these numbers is the odd one out? Well you can make any of them the odd one out if you really want to, but I suppose figuring out what it expected of you is a skill in itself. Then came some typing tests and, finally, tests on Word and Excel. These were the most stressful of the lot; it's amazing how many functions in Word and Excel I've never used. A lot of the time I'd be thinking, is it under Format or Tools or View or what? Unlike in real life where you can work it out eventually, click on the wrong menu and a box would appear: "Incorrect Answer!" It might as well also have said "Ha ha ha!" I needn't have worried though. I had more than enough points in all the tests to be eligible for some temporary work, and if I hassle them enough times over the coming weeks, who knows? When I got back to Devonport I bumped into the younger brother of one of my old colleagues at work. He knew I no longer worked there and asked me where I was working now. When I told him he was incredulous. "What do you mean, you're not working?!" There was a certain irony to this. According to his big sister at least, he's never been particularly fond of work. In fact he used to go to Australia to play a bunch of poker tournaments. I didn't think to ask him whether he still does.

I spoke to Richard last night. The first six weeks of his job involve role-plays and various forms of team bonding. Not my idea of fun at all, and I don't think it's his particularly either. I might pop over and see him again some time this week.

I had a successful day on the badugi tables yesterday. Playing exclusively at the lowest level I made $63. My plan is to take a few weeks off when my bankroll hits $2000 (I've got more important things to do), and then play some bigger games on my return. After yesterday's effort I'm tantalisingly close to the magic milestone, just eight dollars short.

92.5% of the world's population...

...are not on Facebook. That's a pretty overwhelming majority and they can't all be wrong; the remaining half a billion people who insist on all that social networking bollocks really need to get with the program.

To me Facebook sounds like one giant pain in the arse. Until someone can convince me that I should join up, I'm staying right out of it. You have to tell everyone what you've been doing every five minutes (or is that Twitter?) and upload photos constantly, presumably photos with people in them. And then there's this business of accumulating friends as if they were football stickers or baseball cards. If I was on Facebook I know I'd only have four friends, or something pathetic, while the bloke in the upstairs flat has 382. I feel inferior enough as it is, thanks. And what if you decide someone isn't your friend any more? You have to "unfriend" or "defriend" them, and that sounds rather messy. Best to avoid it altogether.

Last week the job search was really starting to get me down. Maybe I am unemployable after all, I began to think. Who would ever want me in their company? I've got plenty of skills and qualifications, but none of the ones that really matter, i.e. people skills. Next Wednesday I'll be meeting one of the recruitment agents and for that reason I decided to get a haircut yesterday. This was a shame; my hair hadn't been cut since that job interview and it was the longest I'd had it in eight years. Sure, I was beginning to look a bit like a caveman, but why shouldn't I look like the person I really am? I had my hair done in the city where it was quick and painless. I also bought two CDs in Real Groovy costing $6 between them, one by the French group Matmatah (unfortunately I didn't like this one nearly as much as an earlier album of theirs) and the Cranberries' To The Faithful Departed. I really must stop listening to such depressing music. I heard the George Thorogood song "Get a Haircut and Get a Real Job" on the radio today; if only the second part of that equation was as simple as the first. I have some good news at least: that publishing company want some more puzzles from me. Only ten, but it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Last Wednesday Richard invited me round to his place; he lives in a boarding house in Remuera, built in 1855 (by New Zealand standards that's seriously old). Upwards of fifteen people live there and I can understand why he's thinking of moving out. Still, it was great to see him in his own habitat, so to speak. He cooked a very good meal and gave me the excellent news that he's now got a job on the phones at BNZ. He starts on Monday so they're not hanging around. To be honest I never expected him to get something as mainstream as that (and I hope I'm not being prejudiced against people with Asperger's by saying that) but good luck to him. I hope it all works out.

I've had my worst day ever of badugi today, losing $65. In my first session, on the 25c/50c tables, I dropped $17 in 124 hands. Worse was to follow as I dumped $39 in 114 hands on a 50c/$1 table, all laws of probability disappearing out the window. The whole lexicon of badugi nightmares came into play as I was monstered left, right and centre, normally by someone who called three bets pre-draw and drew three. My 5432 ran into number two in a massive pot in a display of rampant badugiflation. After a while I wondered whether it was all some sick joke and my opponents were drawing cards from some special deck stripped of all high cards and unhelpful suits. In my last session (at 20/50) I ran red hot in comparison, losing just nine bucks. The good news is that I'm still up $308 on the month and a lot more overall thanks to that big SCOOP result. It was funny cashing that cheque. "So where did it come from?" "Er, the internet," was all I felt I could say.

Fush and chups

I had a blood test this week, the results of which were a pleasant surprise. The big news was my cholesterol reading which had dropped from 6.4 to 5.2, so on Friday I had fish and chips to celebrate. They were the best fish and chips I'd had in yonks; I'm sure the length of time since I last had them helped increase my level of enjoyment. For some reason there's always been a certain aura surrounding fish and chips for me, and for six years (until I got that shock cholesterol score last year) I took full advantage of living in a country with perhaps more "fush and chup" shops per head of population than anywhere else in the world. As kids we had an old shed at the bottom of our garden; my brother and I pretended the shed was a fish and chip shop; we'd pass the imaginary fried food through the windows of the shed which had long been broken.

Yesterday I went to the monthly Asperger's group for the first time in three months. As always I got to talk to a very kind bunch of people, including one or two I hadn't seen before. Some of us might meet up and see a movie in the coming weeks.

On Thursday I saw the classic Italian film Ossessione and tomorrow I'll be starting a new term of lessons. I've gone back to evening sessions just in case I somehow find myself a job. I'm finding the job search process a bit frustrating but I'll keep plugging away. I still haven't heard anything back from that mental health job I had the interview for. I'm seriously considering studying for a Certificate in Mental Health in 2011.

To my relief that US$4000 cheque (the poker winnings I cashed out) arrived last week. Until I saw the money it almost didn't seem real. This month I'm up $333, mostly from badugi. Yesterday I tried five-card draw for the first time. It took some getting used to - my opponents were reluctant to raise, even with huge hands, so I'd often be betting and raising, not realising that I was behind. To give an example, on one particular hand I was dealt a pair of queens. I raised and we were four-way to the draw. I hit a second pair and bet out after the draw. I get one caller who promptly turns over three kings!

I had an interesting call from my grandma at 6:20 this morning. She wasn't making a lot of sense, and I was half-asleep, so all in all our conversation wasn't up to much.

Nearly a year ago, when I was down in Geraldine, I posted some pictures of Dad's model plane crash. Well today there was drama on another level entirely as his plane caught fire!

Richard has kindly invited me over to his house for dinner on Wednesday, so that will be one of the highlights of the coming week.

Badugi glossary

Poker is full of jargon, be it "runner-runner", "flopping the nuts" or "under the gun". Badugi is no exception. So for those who wish to give this fine game a crack, here is a handy selection of terms taken from the Concise Badugi Players' Dictionary, or Cobapdic for short:

Badoggie: a badugi topped by K-9, such as K954. As the name suggests, it's a bit of a dog.

Badugiflation: a phenomenon in which your opponents are showing down huge hands, i.e. fours and fives, left right and centre. Your sixes and sevens, which were bloody good hands back in the day, just don't cut it any more.

Jack shit:
1. A really rough jack badugi, like JT85, as opposed to a smooth jack.
2. Absolutely nothing.
Thus if you're sitting on a king or queen badugi in a live game and your opponent proclaims he's got "jack shit", you're none the wiser.

Knuts: the worst possible badugi, namely KQJT. Either play it fast or dump it, depending on your position and your opponents. Pronunciation of the 'k' in 'knuts' is optional. Appropriately for this hand, "knuts" backwards is "stunk".

Monstered: we've all been there, and if you haven't, you soon will be. When your virtually unbeatable hand gets beaten, you've been monstered.

Number two: normally number twos stink, but not in badugi where the term refers to 532A, the second-best hand in the game. Losing with this hand (it can and does happen!) requires the ultimate monstering.

Snowman:
1. An eight badugi. The word is used similarly in golf to refer to an eight on a particular hole.
2. Someone who likes to pat-bluff, or snow, a lot. Snowmen are tricky customers.

Ugi: a badugi which isn't bad, such as an eight or nine. You'll often end up calling off multiple bets in a big pot with your ugi, in the vain hope that it'll somehow be good.

So there you have it. Best of luck at the badugi tables and may all your pat snowmen hold up.

Independence Day

Last weekend Americans celebrated Independence Day. At the same time I regained my own independence by getting myself a new set of wheels. For a minute I thought of avoiding the whole "anonymous box" thing and getting something exciting and European like a Saab or a Citroen, but in the end I spent $2500 on a red 1996 Toyota Camry. As well as being an anagram of "my car", the Camry is one of the most exciting cars on the planet. In the week I've had it, I've been getting stares at every red light. In fact Camrys are so exciting that 74% of New Zealand's actuaries choose to drive them. In all seriousness it should be a reliable car, if perhaps a bit big for me.

I did have some real excitement last week, in the shape of a phone interview. I'd applied for a job at my local mental health support centre; the impromptu interview took me by surprise a bit. "Is now a good time?" Sure, it's a bloody great time! But I'd met the interviewer before, and I handled the questions as well as I could have hoped. Whether that'll be good enough, somehow I doubt it (I come from a very different industry after all) but if I did get it, I'd be over the moon.

After catching the end of this morning's third-place World Cup match, I saw a programme about an Auckland teenager who, three years ago, got into a car with one of his drunk mates behind the wheel. The resulting crash left him brain damaged. The programme certainly brought home the horrors of drink-driving, but what really amazed me was that after the accident, none of his so-called mates, not even his girlfriend, wanted to know him any more. I didn't have any friends to speak of at that age, but if that's what teenage friends are like, perhaps I didn't miss much.

In other news, I'm back badugi-ing again. I've asked to cash out most of my SCOOP winnings ($4000) and am anxiously waiting for the cheque to arrive. Yesterday I made eighty bucks at the tables (a mixture of 25c/50c, 50c/$1 and $1/$2) but I gave back thirty today. I'm also trying to get a handle on triple draw, although the variance in that game seems even more severe than in badugi. I'll be restricting the bulk of my play to weekends and will try to give weekly updates on my progress from now on.

Wow!

Tuesday. What a day. At 9am I fired up the SCOOP badugi tournament, not really expecting much. I was sure I'd played significantly more badugi than most of the field, and I rated my chances of some kind of payout at just about even, but making the serious money was such a remote possibility I had hardly considered it.

I didn't start well. In the first hour I won just one pot. During the first break I brought my washing in and then got back to business. Or so I thought. Dammit, I've lost my internet connection. Unplug, plug, unplug, plug. Still no reading, captain. I ring Vodafone. I'm on hold for ages. Stop it with the dance music at this time of the morning, would you? I finally get through to a bloke who was nice enough but clearly not based in New Zealand. "Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?" "Yes, five times." I was told to type in various passwords and codes, then he noticed his switchboard was red hot. There was an Auckland-wide outage; he gave me a two-hour timeframe. Oh well. A quick back-of-an-envelope calculation told me I'd be blinded out of the tournament in almost exactly two hours.

I wasn't too disappointed. I hadn't invested much time or money in the tournament and I had plenty of other stuff to be getting on with. I left my computer on just in case; having worked in a large company I knew that "two hours" can be anywhere from a minute to some time next Tuesday.

When my connection miraculously sprung back to life - I was out for forty minutes - I still had nearly 80% of my initial 5000 chips. Things didn't improve much after that though, and I thought there can't be many tournaments where you can win just one pot in more than two hours of play and still show signs of life. In the third hour, with half my original stack left, I made a six badugi to virtually double up against a fellow short stack who I could tell had simply had enough of this badugi shit. I kept hanging in there but in the fourth hour, with half the 2408-player field remaining, I got involved with a couple of marginal hands and my stack was crippled. I was then dealt a one-card draw to a rough eight and had no real choice but to commit. I was three-bet by a monster draw and my tournament life hung by a thread. On the second draw I hit the two of diamonds to make 872A, my opponent missed, and I survived. I was about a 35/65 underdog on that hand. Two out of three times I would have exited right there.

I capitalised on my good fortune to build my stack up to 31,000 only to become one of the short stacks again as the money approached. When the bubble burst with 440 players left I was down to 11,000. Then something funny, but totally understandable when I think about it, happened. People started dropping like flies. You see, the payout structure was totally wack. Paying 440 is too many. Most of these people would only get their money back, plus a tiny bit more, and what's the point of that? And even as players were eliminated, the payouts hardly went up at all; 200th only paid slightly more than 400th, while even 100th was only enough to double your money. So it was hardly surprising that many of the short stacks said "sod this" and loosened up their play. Hence I decided to do the exact opposite. I haven't got a lot of chips here, but if I can just wait for a good hand and let everyone else knock each other out, who knows?

This strategy seemed to work. I played straightforwardly, betting aggressively with my good three-cards and staying out of the way with anything dodgy. With eighty or so left I hit the tournament lead and, almost in disbelief, took a screen shot of the lobby. At the ten-hour mark I realised I had a number of advantages over much of the field:
1. Yes I've been playing for ten hours and I'm getting a little tired, but think of all the poor sods in the States downing cans of Red Bull to avoid falling asleep at the wheel, or rather the screen. In contrast it's 7pm here and I'm still very much awake.
2. I've taken - and studied for - a lot of exams in my time, so concentrating on one thing for ten hours or more in a day is not a foreign concept to me.
3. I'm playing only this tournament. There were big Omaha tournaments going on at the same time. The very thought of playing simultaneous badugi and Omaha sounds like a nightmare. And of course people will be playing cash games and surfing the net and heaven knows what else.

I never thought seriously about the money until we were down to two tables, or to be more specific, eleven players. By this stage I was guaranteed a couple of hundred, but man were there eleven of us for a long time. And my stack was dwindling. Reaching the final eight would mean an extra hundred or so, while seventh paid over twice what eighth did! I wondered what was so special about seventh. As I said, the payouts were all wack. In fairly dire chip poo, I then won two big hands. On the first of these I committed with 43A while my opponent, who had tried to push me off my hand, had complete junk. I won the second as my six badugi went up against a seven.

As we hit the much-needed 15-minute break at the twelve-hour mark, I was chip leader with five players left. I glanced at those prizes again. What's fourth? Whoa. What's third? Oh man. I took a walk around the block in a bit of a daze. On my return we were soon down to three. Many more hands become playable three-handed, so I had to keep telling myself not to just click fold all the time. When we got heads-up I was at a slight chip disadvantage. Also I’d played very little heads-up badugi so I was flying by the seat of my pants. What should I three-bet with pre-draw? Three-card sixes? Smooth sevens? Nine badugis are monsters now, right? My opponent then wanted to make a deal. He was talking chip equity numbers and I had no real idea if I was being screwed over or not. In hindsight perhaps I was (at the time I was behind in chips by nearly two to one) but some PokerStars guru was on hand and everything seemed above board. I felt I had very little bargaining power as I’d never been anywhere near that situation before, and heck, win or lose the resulting payout would be beyond my wildest dreams (I later found out that my foe had taken home four figures a few times before). I took over the chip lead and on a couple of occasions I was a massive favourite to win, but after going head-to-head for more than an hour I’d had my chips. Second place for a whopping payout of US$4758. I was stunned.

Despite the previous day winning more than enough to pay for my next car (and the insurance for it!), yesterday was just a normal day, though I was very tired from Tuesday’s 14-hour-plus marathon. I talked at length with my counsellor about my relationship with Mum. Last night I attended the men’s depression group for the first time in ages (and also the last time in ages). I’d thought about buying drinks for everyone as a gesture, or perhaps going across the road to Hell Pizza (which, as the player who beat me was called Hellhound, would have been appropriate). In the end, as Andy suggested, I just got a few nibbles. We chatted about life, one of the blokes read out part of a play he had written, and I even talked about my gambling exploits with a “don’t try this at home” disclaimer.

Yesterday I spent some time just sitting out in the garden; it was a glorious autumn day. I realised one thing: whatever my next job is, I don’t want it to involve staring at a screen for 14 hours a day. I want to see some sunshine, some people, some life. I haven’t done enough of that lately. Tomorrow I’ll be seeing the careers advisor again.

The results of Britain’s general election will come in tomorrow. It will be a very tight race. If I was still in my old job I’d follow it on the internet at work, but I’m not sure if I will tomorrow. I’m hoping for a hung parliament and the Lib Dems to gain some influence, though I’m not sure it will really make much difference whatever happens.

It’s not long till I’ll be on the plane and I’ve still got so much to do before then. Maybe tomorrow I’ll write a quick post giving some idea of my itinerary over the next six or seven weeks. One thing’s for sure: poker will be off the radar.

Please Mum, try to understand

Mum left this morning. For four days we got on like a house on fire, or almost, as she tidied and organised my flat and made lists for this or that. On Friday we saw Boy which I found quite moving; it certainly lived up to its very positive reviews. On Saturday we ate at Manna, the local Thai restaurant. My curry was predictably very tasty. But yesterday afternoon everything kicked off. I was depressed and wasn't in the mood for doing anything. We went to the supermarket. Now I don't do supermarkets when I'm depressed, and certainly not in the daytime when it's busy. An exception to this was after last Saturday's tennis disaster when I needed basics like bread and milk. That time I literally ran through the supermarket aisles, grabbed my bread and milk, and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. Yesterday I told Mum I needed to get out of there, fast, and that's when all hell broke loose. She was very upset and angry with the way I acted in the supermarket. I was dumbstruck. What did I do wrong?! When we got back to my flat we had a three-hour argument, if you can call it that. I made the fatal mistake of trying to reason with her and explain my depression. "But I get depressed too, you know." No you bloody well don't. "You've got no respect for your mother!" Of course I respect you. "All I get from you is hate, hate, hate!" What?! Are you serious? I love you. Unfortunately Mum's understanding of depression is in the dark ages, and I hate to say it but after thirty years I sometimes wonder if she really understands me either. But I love her. A lot.

Last Tuesday I saw Career Services. My advisor was clearly a very clever woman. We talked about all the various options, and finding a suitable job this side of Christmas suddenly seemed possible. I'll be seeing her again on Friday.

I'll be leaving the country in under five days and I'm starting to actually think about my trip. I'm a bit worried about the Thailand bit on the way back, with all the unrest currently happening there. If I decide to hop over to any of the neighbouring countries I'll need a visa, but things might be fine in Thailand in a month's time.

Tomorrow I'll be playing the low buy-in SCOOP badugi tournament. I'm lucky that it's a 9am start on a day when I don't have to do anything, and it's happening before I go away. It's a much deeper tournament than anything I've played before and I could be playing for several hours. Or not. I'll give a report in my next post.

Life stages

Following yesterday's Anzac Day service I met up with four others from the Asperger's group at St Lukes mall. After much discussion regarding the choice of film, we eventually plumped for Date Night which was hilarious in places, though I was hardly in the mood for comedy. It looked like we would see Boy which I must make sure I see before I go away. It was good to meet up with Richard and the others whose Asperger's were at varying levels and affected them in very different ways.

After Saturday's embarrassment I didn't particularly want to talk about my other tennis matches, but on Thursday I played what I imagine was my last ever match with Bazza. I'd rather not mention the score (I mean I'd love to, but we were only playing for the love of the game so the score hardly mattered). To cut a short story even shorter, we were outclassed in our second round match. Bazza was a talismanic figure at the club ("c'mon Belmont!") even if he could get on my nerves at times. Now that he's gone, that's one less reason for me to play there.

Saturday's singles - that match - was also a second-rounder. In the first round I got lucky and faced an inexperienced player. I struggled to an error-strewn 7-5 6-1 win. It wasn't much fun.

My dad flies back from the UK in a few hours' time. I think he's glad to leave and relieved that the unpronounceable Icelandic volcano won't stop him. The last four weeks, with my grandmother, haven't been easy for him. And as for my aunt, the less said about her the better.

Mum arrives here on Wednesday (by accident she booked her flight on the same day Dad returns from the UK). I'm looking forward to seeing her.

Tomorrow I'll be seeing a careers advisor. For once I'll be brutally honest and tell her what I want to do (and what I don't). I'll have to go to Mt Eden for this appointment (they recently closed the Takapuna office). On Wednesday, just before Mum gets here, I'll be meeting with my counsellor.

It's been a pain not having a car. Buses wouldn't be such a problem if I was making the same journey all the time, such as going to and from work, but as that's not the case I've found it all a bit of a struggle. I see people waltz onto the bus and ask nonchalantly for one or two or three stages. How do they know how many stages it is? I've never seen a sign telling me I'm about to enter the such-and-such stage. And what's to stop you from staying on for an extra stage or two? I can't imagine the driver remembering exactly who has paid for what. On occasions I've bought an all-day ticket that lets you bypass all that stage malarkey, but even some of the drivers don't know about this ticket, or at least they pretend not to.

On Thursday I entered an 18-man private tournament which one of the badugi regulars set up. It was a limit tournament with rapidly increasing blinds at the start, so luck would play a huge part in the outcome. I got a lot of luck, almost an embarrassing amount of it. When we got down to three I had over 80% of the chips in play, and soon it was all over. I followed that win with a fifth-place finish in last night's pot-limit tournament. That good fortune hasn't flowed through to the cash games. My overall profit did top $600 for the first time today, but nine of the last ten hands I showed down were losers and I ended the session at $599.

Ticking over

Today is the last day of my twenties. I can't say I'm looking forward to ticking over to a new decade. The fact that everything will end in a zero all at once - my age, the year, even the day - doesn't help. Tomorrow I'll be meeting Andy for lunch; it was very kind of him to suggest that, and it's about as big a birthday celebration as I could face right now. The last time I had a party, if you can call it that, it wasn't much fun. We ended up in some horrible sports bar in Birmingham (it might even have been the Sports Bar) where we couldn't hear ourselves think, let alone speak, and none of us enjoyed it, least of all me.

Being on the verge of thirty was one reason why I quit my job. It was time I stopped pretending to be someone else. I now know I couldn't go back to that sort of environment again, well not for a good few years at least. The question is, what now? English teaching and the mental health industry are my two main options. Oh, and my puzzles of course. I mustn't forget those.

On Saturday I attended the monthly Asperger's group. It's always an amazing experience. So many people, so little time. There were at least two totally new people there, one of whom you might call a typical "Aspie" - "hello, my name's Peter and I invent things", but the other was anything but. Whether he was trying to shock or impress me I don't know, but outwardly it appeared he was a born risk-taker with an enormous amount of confidence.

I took second place in Saturday night's badugi tournament. However there were only 37 runners so the payout wasn't huge, and I gave all my winnings back - and more - in yesterday's cash games. I thought I might have better luck in last night's tournament but bowed out in ninth place out of 55 when the top eight paid. I got all my chips in with an unbreakable pat queen, figuring that any pat badugi is gold dust at a four-handed table, but my opponent made a six on the first draw and I was out. A bad day at the office you might say. The good news is that I play at a low enough level than I can afford bad days. My overall profit stands at just over US$550.

I've put my name down for this week's club champs. I'm playing in all three tournaments - singles, doubles and mixed - so yesterday I popped along to club day for some practice. I got more practice than I bargained for. They'd organised a mini "FUN!" tournament. These days I find that anything billed as "FUN!" almost always isn't. We played a series of 20-minute doubles matches with sudden-death deuce, with prizes given to the man and woman who win the most games, regardless of how many they might lose along the way. So you're better off with 4-4 draw, say, than a 3-2 win. Of course I would never have been in the running whatever the format, and I think the eventual winners had won more games than I'd even played. There were too many people on the courts and I hated the whole experience. In the last match I was just going through the motions. Virtually every ball I hit went miles out, not that I cared. I just wanted to get home. I waited around for half an hour while they presented prizes for this and that, not wanting to appear rude. "We've had such a Fan Tastic afternoon of tennis. It seems like every member of the club turned up today (you're telling me). It's so Fan Tastic that you could all make it."

My three matches in the club champs are on consecutive nights starting tonight. My first match, a mixed doubles, won't be a problem because it's a match we're expected to lose. The other two, which I actually have a chance of winning, I can't say I'm looking forward to. I'll post my results later in the week.

I'm not addicted - honest

I'm tired and bunged up with cold, so I just want to go to bed. I'm looking forward to an extra hour there in the morning with our clocks going back.

Very little of note has happened since I last wrote. Dad arrived in the UK safely; while New Zealand is experiencing an Indian summer, Britain is the midst of whatever you call an everlasting winter. My brother has just got back from Brunei where he had the final stages of his SAS selection ordeal. Unlike most of those who start out, he got all the way to the end, but unfortunately (for him) didn't get selected. From what I gather, they had a small number of places and the final decision was something of a lottery. I'm very proud of my brother for getting that far; I personally couldn't think of anything worse. Apparently he's contemplating coming out of the army in the next year or so, perhaps concentrating on his parachute instruction which he currently does as a sideline. One of my top priorities on my trip is to catch up with him, to see him properly. Since I left the UK at the end of 2003, I've seen him just once, and that was only briefly. We've drifted apart, which is a real shame because although we're very different I think we'd get on well. Who knows, maybe I could even get a jump with him.

I spent this afternoon with Richard, and a very pleasant afternoon it was too. We chatted in a café in Mt Eden and then climbed the mountain itself. It was the first time I'd been up it. It was a great vantage point; looking out from the summit gave me some appreciation of Auckland's geography, which although I've lived here for six years, isn't great. I liked the map they had there; distances to various overseas cities were marked on it. It was nice to be reminded that the world is actually a big place; my world seems to have shrunk since I lost my car.

This paragraph will be nothing but online poker, so you may want to skip it. Next month PokerStars will be having its annual Spring Championship of Online Poker, or SCOOP for short. For each of the 38 events in the SCOOP, there are three tournaments (with low, medium and high buy-ins) that run alongside each other. The low badugi event has a $16.50 buy-in, and fortunately it's one of the first to run, so I'll be able to play it before I go away. I'd planned to pay for the buy-in out of my bankroll, but I realised I'd accumulated some frequent flyer points and wondered if I could somehow make use of those. For 70 points I could enter a turbo no-limit hold 'em satellite which gave entry to an $11 tournament for the top 10% or so. As the name "turbo" suggests, these satellites are all over in a flash, so I was able to have seven or eight goes at them without wasting too much precious time. I managed to qualify twice, but instead of entering those $11 tournaments, I unregistered and took the $22 which I could use to buy into any tournament I liked. Satellites to the SCOOP badugi had a $3.30 buy-in, so my $22 would give me six bullets to fire at those. My first attempt never really got going and I busted out around half-way. Yesterday I tried for a second time; I made an even worse start this time and my chip count was in three figures for nearly an hour. Staring elimination in the face, I survived by hitting a T42A badugi on the last draw when my ultra-aggressive opponent had a king. He liked to draw rough, so unusually for me I drew one card to the ten, figuring it stood to be the best hand if I could make it. My read was good but still I got lucky. That was the turning point for me. I then ran hot, and with the top three making it through, I soared up the leaderboard to second place where I stayed for the remainder of the tournament.

That all sounds rather convoluted (and I'm sure if Richard sees it he'll laugh - he's one of the few people I've told about my poker exploits, if that's the right word) but in short I've now got entry to a $16.50 tournament and have $15.40 I can use for other tournaments, all without dipping into my bankroll. And I've still got more of those frequent flyer points up my sleeve.

Yesterday was Good Friday - in New Zealand the same debate comes up year after year about whether shops should be allowed to open on that day. Contrary to popular belief, shops are allowed to open - they just have to pay a $1000 fine which in many cases is nothing. Although I'm not religious at all, I find it refreshing to have a day when people can't buy bathroom tiles or LCD TVs.

Next stop bed.

Lifeline

On Saturday I had the pleasure of receiving a card from Emma's parents; they seemed to like this post I wrote about her. This must be a very difficult time for them, so I was really touched to get that card.

Yesterday I had lunch with Julie at Five Loaves and a drink at the Masonic. She's taken a massive hit from the collapse of three finance companies. It's so sad that people of her age - who can least afford it - have lost out the most, to companies whose chairmen, or whatever you call them, are simply cowboys.

I've just had at email from the States; they want another 35 puzzles from me. That should keep me busy, and being currently out of work, it's a potential lifeline. I've also just finished making a giant cryptic crossword which I hope to upload on to my website soon.

My overall profit on PokerStars hit $400 yesterday, and that's despite this hand which eliminated me from Saturday's tournament in 13th place (twelve paid):

PokerStars Game #41765335062: Tournament #254836334, $2.00+$0.20 USD
Badugi Pot Limit - Level X (250/500) - 2010/03/26 23:16:57 ET
Table '254836334 7' 8-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: douganized (2580 in chips)
Seat 2: mcbane1988 (11285 in chips)
Seat 5: scott3437 (14655 in chips)
Seat 6: rain_2 (5510 in chips)
Seat 7: plutoman20 (14370 in chips)
Seat 8: kizzle72 (8899 in chips)
plutoman20: posts small blind 250
kizzle72: posts big blind 500
*** DEALING HANDS ***
Dealt to plutoman20 [5c 3c 4h 3h]
2 folds, scott3437: calls 500, 1 fold, plutoman20: calls 250, kizzle72: checks
*** FIRST DRAW ***
plutoman20: discards 2 cards [5c 3h], Dealt to plutoman20 [3c 4h] [Jh As]
kizzle72: discards 1 card, scott3437: discards 2 cards
plutoman20: checks, kizzle72: checks, scott3437: checks
*** SECOND DRAW ***
plutoman20: discards 1 card [Jh], Dealt to plutoman20 [3c 4h As] [5d]
kizzle72: discards 1 card, scott3437: discards 2 cards
plutoman20: bets 900, kizzle72: folds, scott3437: raises 1600 to 2500, plutoman20: raises 3400 to 5900, scott3437: raises 3600 to 9500, plutoman20: raises 4370 to 13870 and is all-in, scott3437: calls 4370
*** THIRD DRAW ***
plutoman20: stands pat on [3c 4h As 5d], scott3437: stands pat
*** SHOW DOWN ***
plutoman20: shows [5d 3c 4h As] (Badugi: 5,4,3,A)
scott3437: shows [Ah 3s 2c 4d] (Badugi: 4,3,2,A)
scott3437 collected 29240 from pot

The good news is that I'm running a bit better than that in the cash games.

Dad is flying out to the UK this evening; I'm just going to give him a quick call.

I didn't win Lotto

On Monday night I went to tennis, even though I really didn't want to. When I got back my depression seemed to vanish, as if someone had flicked a switch. This latest bout started very suddenly too, and that it ended just after bashing a few furry yellow objects might be a coindicence. But getting exercise when I'm depressed - which is of course when I least want to get exercise - doesn't do me any harm.

I had Italian on Tuesday. We've got a couple more people in the class, but I'm still the only person whose adjectives and past participles end in 'o' rather than 'a'. Despite being the only bloke there, or maybe because of it, I've found the course very enjoyable. Our teacher is superb.

On Wednesday - St Patrick's Day - I found out I didn't get the job. I wasn't disappointed at all; it was rather like finding out I hadn't just won Big Wednesday. When I spoke to Mum the next day, she was more disappointed than me. It's funny that in New Zealand anyone whose neighbour's flatmate's uncle's cat is half-Irish finds an excuse to get pissed on St Patrick's Day. I do have some Irishness in me - Mum was an O'Something and her family originates from Kerry - but it all pretty much passed me by.

The following day I helped out at the mental health centre with the mail-out of their quarterly newsletter. I liked that - it was good to feel I was doing something useful for someone else - and I've got Andy and Brendan to thank for picking me up and dropping me off.

Last night I went to the tennis club again, not to play but to watch. Belmont were playing Campbells Bay in the semi-finals of the Chelsea Cup. Our club had made quite an occasion of it all; I didn't realise it was such a big deal, but with top-ten players in the country on show, including a former number one, I probably should have done. The tennis was a joy to watch: one of the Belmont players put so much topspin on the ball that several times when I was convinced it was going long, it would dip onto the line at the last moment. Belmont were clear favourites going into the encounter but after the four singles matches it was locked up at 2-2 and the crowd - which was substantial - started getting nervous. The home side's two singles wins had been comfortable ones while both of Campbells Bay's victories were long three-setters, so Belmont just needed one of two doubles matches to advance to the final. When they took the first set in both matches, Belmont had one foot in the final, but half an hour later Campbells Bay had levelled the scores, and both games - simultaneously - entered a super tie-break. I think the whole concept of the super tie-break is flawed but the Belmont pairing of Mark Nielsen and Jackson Bodle handled the pressure admirably in winning their shoot-out 10-3. Campbells Bay won the other tie-break, 11-9, but it didn't matter. The final will be played at Albany next Friday. I met an actuary and some other people from the life insurance industry which, try as I might, I seem unable to completely leave behind.

I've had an exceptionally good week on PokerStars. Last Saturday my overall profit reached $200; yesterday it hit $300. There's no two ways about it - I've been running well. It's important to recognise this. Far too many people hit a purple patch at say 25c/50c, suddenly think they're Superman and jump into a $3/$6 game. Likewise it's important not to let your play be affected when the cards turn against you, which they did for me at the end of last month and will do again.

This afternoon I'll be attending the Asperger's group which I missed last month. Up to this point I've been pronouncing Asperger incorrectly, with a soft 'g'. It will be good to catch up with them again.

Life goes on

After hearing the news about Emma, the next few days went by in a haze. I played Tracy Chapman's All That You Have is Your Soul on repeat and had very little energy or enthusiasm for anything. My computer packed in - normally that would cause a major headache for me, but on this occasion I was content just using the one in the library for half an hour a day.

In the last week, however, things have been gradually getting back to normal. I've been making a giant cryptic crossword - not an easy task; playing tennis (extremely badly); going to Italian classes (I'm doing a bit better there); and playing badugi (after a very lousy run I'm now back to my highs around the +$170 mark). Oh, and next Monday I'll be having a job interview.

I've partly got my mum to thank for this interview which has come almost totally out of the blue. A few weeks ago she noticed an ad in the paper for an employment agency. I called them, at that time they had nothing, and I thought I wouldn't hear from them again. Then on Friday they gave me a surprise phone call about this position - an actuarial position - that had just become vacant. Yesterday, straight after my Italian class, I had a 20-minute meeting with a bloke from the agency. He got in touch with the company, and later that afternoon he called me to say I'll be having an interview.

While it's very nice to have this chance, there are a couple of obvious snags. Firstly, after spending nearly six years in the actuarial department of an insurance company, they'll expect me (not unreasonably) to, well, know stuff. And I really don't. I've started to incorporate bluffing into my badugi strategy, but unlike in poker where it's a tactic best used sparingly, in the interview I'll need to bluff virtually the whole way. Secondly, as yet I know very little about the job: it hasn't been advertised anywhere and I haven't been given even a ghost outline of a job description. Thirdly, they might want me to start quite soon; I've got a six-week trip planned. Finally, even if I somehow did get offered the job, I might not want it. Studying for exams again - ouch! So that's actually more than a couple of snags. On the positive side, things would be good from a financial perspective, and I intend to give the interview my absolute best shot. Who knows?

Funnily enough I popped into what used to be my work today because I needed a witness to sign my application for a new Kiwi passport; my old boss seemed the best person to do it. It was actually quite nice to see the people I worked with. I told them about my upcoming interview; they found the fact that it was for an actuarial role quite funny. They thought that defeated the whole purpose of my leaving, and I had no answer to that because I totally agreed.

This weekend I hope to meet up in Devonport with Richard and his friend. Maybe I'll even get in a set of tennis with Andy. If I play anything like I did in my singles on Monday, he'll probably beat me.

Sorry Mum, still no news

Man do I miss my car. I'm quite exhausted from all this bussing and walking. Yesterday I saw my counsellor in Albany (how many buses did I take in total? Five?) for some Gestalt therapy which is a new one on me. Basically I pretended to be myself at the age of ten or eleven talking about my lack of friends, then I took on the role of an adult talking to this young boy. Our session was taped.

I managed to upset my mum on Sunday night. She said to me, "had a busy day? No." I told her to please stop saying that. She's been doing this for some time, asking me if I've done something and then saying "no" immediately afterwards. "Did you apply for that job? No." "Did you phone Dave? No." She always fears the worst for me, expects the worst. "I don't know what you'll do when you get back from the UK. I doubt you'll get a job, and you'll be paying all that money in rent. And don't go out and buy another car because it'll only get nicked again..." Dad is just as pessimistic but at least I can have a reasoned argument with him. With Mum, I'd obviously upset her and I felt very bad about this, but it was no use trying to rectify the situation. She just totally shut down. A lot of the problem here is that my parents phone me every day. I know it's because they love me and worry about me, but I find these daily 9pm phone calls put unnecessary pressure on me. Usually nothing of note has happened since the last time we spoke and I feel guilty about that. I suggested to Mum that maybe every day is a bit much, to which she replied, "well I won't ring then if you don't want to talk to me." Oh dear. I do want to talk to her, just perhaps not every day.

My interclub tennis was all over in double-quick time last night. We won our doubles 6-3 6-0 but then I got thrashed 6-1 6-2 in my singles. An unusual pair of results for me: I prefer singles and generally fare much better at it than doubles. My singles opponent was very much a confidence player; last time we played I won a tight first set, after which his confidence was shot and he effectively threw in the towel. This time it was the exact opposite. I had love-40 on his serve in the first game but couldn't take any of those break points. In the second game I had yet more chances but they too went begging. Soon his confidence was sky-high and I was powerless to do anything. The type of shot I played had little bearing on the outcome of the point, so in the end my tactic was to take the pace off the ball and just get everything back. This resulted in some long rallies and multiple deuce games but I invariably came off second best. Knowing his temperament was fragile I never gave up until the last point, though the killer blow for me came in the penultimate game. At 2-4 and deuce, after trading groundstrokes, I hit a lob onto his baseline which he retrieved; his next shot was a clean winner. When it was all over I walked home, grabbing easily the spiciest pizza I've ever had on the way back.

In today's badugi session I picked up right where I left off from last night's tennis. I play 300-hand sessions, give or take a few, but I have a "mercy rule" whereby I quit when I get down $20. Today I invoked that rule after just 140 hands. It was carnage. I won only seven hands, three of those pre-draw and just two at showdown. After taking that kind of hammering I don't feel I can play my best, hence the mercy rule.

I had a very enjoyable, if slightly tricky, Italian lesson today. If I didn't already know some French (which has proved very useful) I might have been all at sea. After the lesson I had the pleasure of riding in a Fiat Bambina.

Tonight we had the men's group. We had a new bloke there who writes stories; tonight we acted one of those out. I'm always envious of anyone who can write anything.

Fun and games

It's been a good day - hot, but at least that horrible humidity has largely subsided. I played tennis with Andy at Belmont this afternoon. In the heat of the day we both worked up quite a sweat. When we called it a day, I was leading 6-0 2-0, or as Andy had it, 6-2. After the game we had a welcome beer and an equally welcome swim in the sea at Milford.

I have to say I enjoyed tennis with Andy considerably more than yesterday's interclub experience. In the men's doubles I played with an 18-year-old who served at about 110 miles an hour. His service games consisted almost entirely of aces, unreturnable serves and double faults, so my role in every fourth game was almost ornamental. I never got into any rhythm which was a shame because it was a match we could have won. That 6-4 6-4 loss was frustrating but nothing compared to the mixed match. We lost that one 6-1 6-1; I couldn't wait to get off the court, and thankfully I didn't have to wait long. During that match I thought, gosh I remember when I used to enjoy this. I'll be back on the court again for more interclub - singles and doubles - tomorrow.

I've been having more success on the online poker tables of late than on the tennis court, and am currently showing an overall profit of US$169. Last weekend I plucked up the courage to play the 25c/50c badugi cash games. All that time I spent (wasted?) on those silly badugi freerolls means I can now play the game in my sleep. That doesn't necessarily mean playing well, asleep or awake, but I do think I have a better understanding of the game than most at these low stakes, and my results over my first couple of thousand hands would certainly back that up. In my last two sessions I've tried to mix up my play a bit, which is something I'll have to do if I ever want to move up in stakes. My bankroll has also been boosted this week by making the top four in both tournaments I entered.

Tomorrow I'll be seeing my counsellor. We'll try and figure out ways that I can get out and meet people of my own age. That's something I've been hopelessly, well, hopeless at for as long as I can remember.

Headache

I went downhill almost immediately after submitting my previous post, to a point I haven't reached in months. I think my feelings as a result of the wedding, basically that everyone else's lives were sorted out while mine was in an impossible mess, had come to a head. Just before I left my parents' house yesterday I banged my head on the edge of the living-room door, rather like I used to do with the tennis racket. Andy (the guru I see once a week) suggested I stop playing tennis; avoiding doors isn't quite so easy. I definitely think I could benefit from avoiding weddings however. When I finally got home last night (I had to wait nearly an hour for the ferry), I was depressed, exhausted and totally lacking in energy. I also had a sore head.

I played two poker tournaments today; I didn't feel good for much else. My progress in this morning's single draw had the makings of a big finish, but the turning point came when I ended up folding a pat smooth nine. I never recovered and I was extremely lucky to sneak into the 21st and last payout place. I made a strong start to the badugi but quickly found myself languishing at half the average stack. Then, in the space of ten hands, I was twice dealt pat 10-9s. Each time I had no choice but to put my tournament life on the line as a 62% favourite, but both times they held up for me, and suddenly I had a healthy pile of chips. At the final table I drew two in the big blind, made a monster, and eliminated two players in one hand. I went card dead after that and when we got down to three I was the short stack. I outlasted my nearest competitor but was massively outgunned when we got heads up. Though I could make no inroads into my opponent's huge stack, I was more than happy to take second place out of 97 players for a profit of just over US$30.

I got a surprise phone call from Bazza today. I hadn't spoken to him since Christmas - he moved to Papakura in December and I didn't have his number.

Tomorrow I hope to see some recruitment agencies in person rather than on the phone where they're more likely to fob me off. This was something I'd planned for today but I wouldn't exactly have showed myself in my best light. I hope to see Andy in the afternoon.