Holy Kaukau, I think we've got our wires crossed

Saturday morning. I'm going on a walk up Mt Kaukau with the depression group at 10am. However I stay in bed to listen to an interesting radio programme, then write something on an internet forum about a triple draw poker hand, so I'm running late. I didn't have the foresight to charge up my GPS. I set off at 9:45 and by ten I'm almost at our meeting place, but then I take a wrong turn and I'm suddenly lost. At 10:05 my phone rings. I don't answer it but it's obviously a "where are you?" call. I pull over, drag out my phone, don't recognise the number, return the call but get no reply. At 10:15 I get to where I'm supposed to be but nobody else is there. Presumably they've set off up Kaukau without me. I ring that number again; someone called Ray answers. I don't remember a Ray from the group, and come to think of it I don't remember giving anyone my number, but that doesn't mean a lot because my memory is shocking. "Where are you?" asks Ray. I tell him I'm in the car park. "Oh good. We've just set off. You can catch us up. Do you know which way to go?" "I think so. I'm just walking past the swimming pool." "Swimming pool?! W-w-where are you?" "I'm at the base of Mt Kaukau and there's a sign that says one hour to the top." "Er, you're in completely the wrong place," says Ray, "I think you've got your trips mixed up." Trips? Ahh. I remember now. Last month I'd signed up for a tramp but only as a reserve because all the places had been filled. I'd heard nothing since so I'd quietly forgotten about the tramp which (by sheer coincidence) must have started at the same time as the Kaukau walk, on the same day.

After all that confusion I walked up the mountain (or hill really), thinking I'd meet the group on the way up or maybe at the top. I lacked energy but made it to the summit for the second time in my life. It was a sunny Saturday morning, if a little blowy up there, but what do you expect? I still didn't see anyone I recognised, and when I got back down I had a quick coffee and went home.

When I got home I checked my email to find that our walk had been cancelled earlier that morning due to forecast bad weather that didn't eventuate. In a way I'm glad I didn't read that email and got some exercise. As for the tramping club, I'm still clueless as to how that reserve system works.

If anyone cares (I'm not sure if I do), this is my 300th post.

Exercising my demons

I did Round the Bays on Sunday. Well I didn't run it all (that just be silly); I jogged the bit at the start, ran the last 500 metres or so, and walked the rest. Supposedly it was 7 km but I think the bloke who measured it must have done so using the dodgy clock in his car: I'm pretty sure it was less. Being part of a work team wasn't pleasant; as soon as I'd crossed the finish line (in about 57 minutes) I wanted to go home. The queue for the buses seemed to go on for ever - it was obvious that walking home would be the quicker option. I walked home with one of my colleagues and felt better after the exercise. All that tennis I used to play in Auckland would sometimes drive me nuts but I certainly benefited from the release of all those endorphins.

I've just been to the gym in my apartment complex. A lot of the equipment is looking a bit tired but that doesn't matter. Some weights that I could actually lift would have been nice though. They even have a squash court - I've got two rackets but I haven't played in ages. I was never any good.

On the same subject, Dad has just bought himself a rowing machine for $250 from the Warehouse.

I was glad to get February out of the way - all 29 days of it - but March so far hasn't been any more fun. I took yesterday afternoon off work (as annual leave, not sick leave) to meet up with one of my cousin's contacts about the business proposition. He was reasonably enthusiastic and would put me in touch with one or two people, but annoyingly he wasn't interested in any of the PowerPoint slides I'd spent many hours preparing! Today I checked my email just in case he'd sent me one, and there were seven of the buggers sitting there including one from a Christchurch businessman who wanted to arrange a meeting. He said Skype was OK but despite setting up two accounts I've yet to Skype anybody. Presumably all these people expected me to reply immediately on my non-existent Blackberry. Dad said that if they ever try and give me a Blackberry at work, I should give them a raspberry. Not much chance of that now of course.

After the meeting I saw the doctor. Like me, she's a pom who's lived in NZ for eight years. Now that I've maxed out my Efexor and it's not helping, she's putting a lot of emphasis on getting a psychiatric assessment.

Work was a little better last week. I've had a lot of (contradictory) advice on how best to handle my situation.

I really wish I could shift this cold. It's been two weeks and counting. But compared to some of the neverending colds I had as a kid, this is nothing.

The weather has been ghastly today (howling winds and torrential rain). The forecast isn't always trustworthy but this time it was deadly accurate.

I had fish and chips last night with my cousin and her family. She then introduced me to a very good Scrabble-based game called Take Two. I'll be seeing her again tonight for some advice on what to do with all these damn emails. It could be very positive but only if I don't make a complete mess of everything.

The joys of work IV - and seeing the doc

I saw my GP today; our meeting was hardly a success. He devised a rather ingenious Plan B, which was to keep executing Plan A. In other words keep taking the tablets. "Surely you must have goals at work," he said. Goals? Wha-ha-huh? I guess not getting into trouble is a goal. He made too many assumptions about me. People love to pigeon-hole don't they? He did make one valid point, that I should get more exercise. He said I should be burning those calories first thing in the morning, but with my recent habit of leaving the flat at the same time as I mean to start work, that might be a struggle.

When you work for a multinational company there are a lot of rules, written and unwritten. Now I'm not anti rules necessarily, but I like rules to be there for a reason. For instance in poker a flush beats a straight. That's because you're less likely to make a flush than a straight (half as likely as it happens). In the corporate world a flush beats a straight because somebody says so; the following month a straight beats a flush because somebody else says so; a few months later the rules have changed again - straights and flushes no longer count at all - and you don't know whether you're Arthur or Martha any more.