It's well after 4am and I haven't slept a wink, so I might as well write something here. I had my performance review with my boss yesterday (I think I have to call it yesterday now) which was even uglier than I expected. I really took a hammering. My input two months ago probably didn't help. I think it's fair to say that the writing's on the wall; the clock is most definitely ticking. I won't be fired, not yet anyway, but life will gradually be made harder for me over the coming weeks (and months, if I get that far) until either I'm managed out or I'm so depressed that I won't manage at all. Of course my performance is no worse than it was a year ago, and if it wasn't for the regime change I probably would have been fine. So the big question is, while I've still got a job, what do I look for now? I'm not going anywhere near life insurance again, that's for sure. And I need to get flatmates. Plural.
I found an excellent article about depression and work here.
I emailed the link to the app around the office on Monday. Most people would have ignored or deleted it, but my boss installed it! She got through the first six levels impressively quickly, then went back to level 287 (or whatever) of Candy Crush. Releasing an app on the market should feel like a big achievement, but it really just feels like I've hobbled over the start line of a marathon.
There's a Beatles tribute band playing tomorrow night, um, tonight, at the Botanic Gardens. I'll be going there with Martin, and yawning through the whole thing no doubt.
(I had another "Beginning of the end" in 2009.)